None of the following
mentioned are aware they are a part of a blog or that we laugh at their expense
almost daily. Maybe it is guilt that prevents me from telling these lovely
people because I think, deep down, some of the stories could be a little hurtful
to them. I truly do appreciate all of my
customers; they have been a part of my life for 8 years! Maybe I should do some inner reflection and
ask myself if a mere laugh is really worth their friendship, years of growth,
sharing, heartache, smiles, devotion and love. ‘Self, is this little blog
really worth all of that?’ I have to answer, ‘Absolutely. Absofrigginlutely.’
Listed are some of the heavy hitters.
- Rawjah Dawjah (Raw-ja dau-ja): One of our many resident bachelors, he is probably one of the smartest people I know. Many times, in the middle of a beautiful summer day when we were the only two people in the whole state that are indoors, I have seen him complete a crossword. No, not with a pen, that is child’s play. He does them in his head. He is an older lad in his 60’s and weighs just about the same. He knows everyone’s birthday but I still have yet to receive even one of the presents he tells me are still in his apartment, somewhere. He is a huge New York fan and has proposed to me countless times with the promise of the world’s most expensive diamond, Yankees stadium. When he comes in every Saturday morning, his one goal of the day is to make it to the discount bread store across the street after he eats his lunch and downs a couple of strawberry daiquiris. In almost a decade he has accomplished this goal twice. Yes, that is two times. T-W-O times. On one of these occasions the only reason he made it there was because I drove. So let’s do some simple math that would take him about a half of a second to figure out. 52 weeks a year x 8 years = 416 times he has attempted to make it to the discount bread store. And if we figure blah blah blah, yaddah yaddah yaddah which ends up being .5% of the time he has been successful. Do not feel free to correct me because I am almost positive I have every idea of what I am talking about. You think I only know my simple math skills when a tip is involved? Huh? Do ya? I didn't think so, but I digress. Rawjah Dawjah truly does mean a lot to me and his friendship is one that I will always treasure. He does play my favorite songs on the jukebox after all.
- Mr. and Mrs. Cunningham: A wonderful couple who are the honorary grandparents of the friendly, neighborhood bar. They drink at least one bottle of crisp, white chardonnay daily. They will find any excuse to give gifts to people and it is always the perfect one. They really are the sweetest people that enter the bar, they still hold hands all time and slow dance to most romantic songs. Mr. Cunningham is asleep 95% of the time but will answer any question with full accuracy without needing the question repeated, even if he was in mid snore while being asked. It is something no one can figure out, so don’t even try. He is feisty and still asks Mrs. Cunningham if she wants to go in that back room with him. Wink Wink. Mrs. Cunningham is a talker. And a repeater. And an It-was-the-greatest-ever-er. For example ‘We went to a barbecue yesterday and I had the best ribs of my life. They were literally the best ribs I have ever had in my entire life. They were moist and hardly had any fat on them at all. Literally the best of my life. Right, Mr. Cunningham?’ ‘ZZZZ..Yes, they were marinated in a homemade sauce and fell right off of the bone. Another glass of wine, plea…ZZZZZ.’ ‘I’m telling you, in all of my life, I have never had ribs that were better than that. The best I have ever had. They were so moist! Just like Mr. Cunningham said, they fell right off the bone. Those ribs were the best. The best I have ever had in my entire life!’ She is also one snazzy dresser.
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